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As for deciding to marry someone who is not mormon, here is how I made the decision. The most important thing is an open dialogue, as you say, and utmost respect for the other person. The most important thing is an open dialogue, as you say, and utmost respect for the other person. Also, I know a bunch of Mormons that say they are, but don't act like it. The envy of all of our friends.
I think there's a chance you two can find a way to agree on a lifestyle and values. I simply do NOT believe he and I will not be together after we die. Read our Exit Stories from Mormonism. How will your spouse feel about that in 20 years.
Of course we are talking abt kids and marriage all the time. Please realize I know how the church works, was extremely active and raised good kids. If she doesn't care that you aren't a member now, if your relationship goes on long enough, she is going to care eventually. All that being said, no one can tell you what is right for you except Heavenly Father. No matter what anyone says. This does not mean that you cannot do those things, but remember that she will not be able to do them with you. I think she felt that it was important for me to understand the types of challenges in an interfaith marriage. She's too heavily invested in Mormonism for that. Rawkcuf, maybe your comment is like your name and intended backwards, but what do you mean by differences between races. If you can genuinely deconvert her then cool.